Let's post the most important pieces of advice we have learned....
I'll start:
1. Some days suck, tomorrow will be better
2. If you want to give up nursing, just try it one more day. Never quit when frustrated.
3. Co Sleeping is the best and worst thing
4. Listen to the doctors and experts, but trust your gut
5. Be prepared: Every time you said "I would never allow that or do that to my child" - it will come back to haunt you. And you'll laugh (eventually) and silently apologize to that poor parent because you will "get it."
6. If you are still able to get things done during the day, don't tell anyone else because you'll just make them feel bad about what they didn't accomplish.
7. You will blame teething and gas for everything.
8. Parenting is hard.
9. Parenting is full of fun and pride and giggles and more love than you can really handle.
10. A Momma bear and I will go head to toe any day.
11. Make sure your pediatrician doesn't make you feel stupid.
I'm not a parent, but here's what I've learned from people who are:
ReplyDelete- I 100% agree it's the hardest job in the world.
- The best parents I know love their kids for who they are and take time to listen to and spend time with them.
- Seems like there are times that are tougher than others, but they realize nobody has every answer and reach out to others or read to learn how to handle it.
- They manage to have a lot of fun but still provide structure.
- All you need is love :-)
-Ker
1. Patience, patience, and more patience - I am tested daily and some days I feel I am better than others especially at a toddler stage.
ReplyDelete2. Make time for you and Ryan. It is tough and people judge. However, I didn't feel bad going out to dinner on a date for my birthday three weeks after baby. I think some people get jealous of our support system that we can get sitters (grandparents often) to go on a date, dinner, or to do NOTHING
3. As a working parent....you will always let someone down....Work, Kid(s), Family, Husband, yourself - but do what works for you. I struggle with time daily.
4. It really is the coolest job (most days) - I have loved watching Landon grow.
5. Kids just want your attention. They don't want you clean, work, or play on the phone. You have to find the balance between the two.
6. You will never (almost never) just other parents again. You will however find stronger parents than others and you will see it in the kids.
7. It is the best and you will have lots of good days and bad days.
I am so excited for you but it will be a huge adventure! An adventure, that no trip, plane, or country can take you to.
Love-
Jenn
The most important thing I learned is it is the most difficult job you will have in your life but also the most rewarding. I also learned that your child must know you are the parent and they are the child and you need them to know that many things you do or say are only because you love them and it is best for them. Don't take your child or children for granted. They will be a reflection of yourself.
ReplyDeleteAsk God for guidance when you are in doubt. Love and cherish everyday with them. You will be great parents and enjoy the love this child will give you. Love, Gloria
The most important thing I learned is to realize that your kids will spend the rest of their lives "trying to get over what you did to them" no matter what you do! Just try not to abuse them. Just kidding. Seriously though, in regards to Kristin's comment, don't be afraid to lie to your pediatrician (or other parents as well). Not about the big stuff, but do you give them vitamins everyday, tummy time etc. Most of it is a load of BS, speculation if you will and parents have survived using their instincts for hundreds of years. Other parents will do the same, let them pass judgement and don't judge yourself. Sometimes you have to lock yourself in the bathroom and read a magazine. Here is a secret. I basically never did tummy time. And AMAZINGLY AGAINST ALL STUDIES SHOWING...tada...Saylor can lift her head just fine at 4 and a half years old, even run and jump and she isn't wearing a back brace! xx Jessi
ReplyDeleteJessi, you are so funny. Not as funny as I am, but funny all the same. Lean in close, (whispering), "I do tummy time once a week for like 3 minutes if I think about it." There is no reason anyone has to endure that miserable grunting and crying while your baby tries to pull carpet fibers out of his eyes. Diana's neck developed just fine as well, but she didn't crawl until like 9 or 10 months. It wasn't a neck, gross motor skill thing either. It's because we carried her every where - she didn't have to learn. I still mostly dress my daughter every morning so we can get to school by lunch time. Jessi is right about the lying thing. And if you aren't lying and your child really sleeps from 7pm to 7am - well, I still think you are lying.
DeleteFor the record, "where did I say to lie to your pediatrician?" I never lie to him, I just don't tell my husband what he said. After all of the ignoring and making me feel like D's sleeping issues were because I refused to use CIO and it was all my fault... well bleep, bleep you, she had sleep apnea and he never once referred me to an ENT. Well sleep apnea and a deep love for her mother at night time.
I am glad you still mostly dress your daughter so she can be out the door by lunch. I still mostly dress Saylor and she changes wardrobe (she is the spawn of Mariah Carey) 16,000 times a day. I also change all her dolls. I need a personal assistant just for the outfit changes. And I yell at her every time. THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM CHANGING YOUR CLOTHES. I am going to throw a party with fireworks when she can do it on her own buttons, shirt off over the head, tie bows, get the final part of the tights up etc. And oh...my...god...she is 4 and a half and still uses a pacifier. Wow, parenting fail. She also subsists on mainly white carbohydrates. I hope she lives through childhood. Correction, I hope I live through her childhood. Did you not say LIE to your pediatrician? I must have added that part in my own head while reading it. hmmmmm
DeleteYep, you wanted to confess to lying to your pediatrician and blamed me... LOL! I said Listen to him but ignore if it sounds bogus. I was thinking Diana was just slow, but it sounds like I might be dressing her for a long time. Buttons are so damn hard. Diana subsists on: Chicken nuggets (now 4 of them between two pieces of toast), Butter sandwiches (yep you read that right), pizza, cheerios, nutri grain bars and a few other things. oh she loves waffles. At least she doesn't like syrup and catsup. She will eat oranges and apples and will choke down a lick of broccoli. We are even up to 4 peas. But I have to bribe her with dessert for veggies. Because she screams, "I don't LOVE that!" I always yell in mind, "I don't LOVE falling asleep in your bed every night and then getting up for another hour of work because I have to." But alas, I just smile and be happy she isn't dating or into drugs. Unless you count her allergy meds which some nights she begs for. Damn that grape flavor. Diana is a minimalist. She must wear a dress all the time - they are actually long shirts but she refuses to believe it. I insist on pants/shorts under dresses. As soon as she walks in, pants, socks and shoes come off. I don't mind in our own house but some of our guests ask me what's going on. That annoys me... at least judge me for my house being a mess or the fact I've just promised her an Oreo if she licks her veggies. The lack of clothing in our own home is not fair. And mostly her shirts are long.
DeleteI would not change the clothing on the dolls... I would keep them nekkid and carry masking tape around... oh wait, that's been done. LOL :)
Oh, and D was on bottles until she was almost 3... I only broke it because of her upcoming tonsilectomy at the time and she wouldn't be able to suck. that was her pacifier version. And I decided paying a dentist was easier than taking the milk away over night until she was 2 and then I switched to water in the bottle over night. Whatever!
Haha... these are great.
ReplyDeleteLove you guys!
Meag
oh, and of course: Pick your battles. When you see a kid in the winter without a coat or hat... don't judge the parent... that's a battle the parent chose not to fight that day. And when a kid gets a cookie but did not lick a vegetable, that was an avoided battle! I realize now that when parents seems to spoil their kids when I am there it's because they are tyring to keep the peace with company. :) Pick the important battles. Once you pick it, make sure you win.
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing I've learned is that Kristin and Jessi really are funny. That and there really is a thing as MommyBrain. I swear my brain was delivered with the placenta and I've been picketing the hospital to get it back ever since.
ReplyDeleteHere's what I've learned in my 7 short months of being a Mommy.
1. Babies, like men, are predictable. They cry, eat, sleep, poop, pee, repeat
2. If a baby falls asleep eating during the day tickle his toes, strip him, put something cold on his feet to rouse him so that he learns it's time to eat and not take the millennium to do it. But if he falls asleep eating at night ignore this rule, especially if you're cozy in bed.
3. Sign up for ALL Enfamile and Similac freebe's. Worst case you can sell them on Ebay and start little mans college fund.
4. If you can, start a night time routine early. They'll get used to it and start to look forward to it (and often remind you if you get sidetracked).
5. Parenting magazines do have some useful tips like 'to get your baby to sleep longer, put him down earlier. Sounds counterintuitive but it works'. I thought surely the author was wacked but I started putting Faith down 30 minute earlier and she consistently slept longer.
6. After the novelty wears off your spouse will be happy to let you do it all. Hop over that rabbit hole (unless you want to fall in and join me) and give him something that is his job that he can look forward to doing for or with the baby (you know kinda like they're the ones who's supposed to take out the trash. Now they can be in charge of washing baby clothes or bottles or some mindless task - whatever it is as long as it's one less thing for you).
7. I've learned that I really am cheap, even in my escalating age, and refused to pay for 4 3.5oz countainers of baby food what I could buy and make a whole weeks worth myself. Hell I'm already at the stove cooking for everyone else I midas well throw on a pot of peas to blend up.
8. I look forward to my pediatrician appointments; he has a wealth of information, doesn't make me feel stupid, and is patient with me and my laundry list of questions. But more importantly he's just plain hot!
10. Your child could have a million colorful, fun toys around and will spend half the day playing with a bottle cap. Moral of the story is no need to go overboard at Christmas. You'll just be picking up the crap constantly and putting it away yourself.
11. There's nothing that a good cuddle and lots of kiss can't fix.
12. Don't overwhelm yourself with the silly stuff. Make a list of everything you think you need to do and pick one or two to accomplish that day. If you do it all in one day you'll have nothing to bitch about the next day. No need to deprive yourself of that perk.
13. It's ok to countdown the minutes till bedtime. If a parent tells you they don't or haven't then they're lying - just like their kid sleeping for 12 hours.
And lastly, just as a reminder, the bottle warm is really useless.
~Christy~